..i really dont..

i really dont know how to study. i cannot study at home because my bed is so inviting and there is just so many other things to do. i cannot study at public places like Starbucks where i happen to be right now. i end up watching people as they walk in and out of the store. i look at what they are ordering, who they are with and the most important of it all what they are wearing. dont go to starbucks in your pjs cause i am watching you! i dont deal well with the cold so the library actually works out for me besides it being so cold that i can't think. so maybe these are all just excuses as to why i feel i have the attention span of a two year old. hehe...so no matter where you place me, i still will be able to study for an hour at the most before i get bored! ever wonder how i got to where i am? me too.....lol!

..who knew?..

so who knew that there are hundreds of cherry blossom trees in wahiawa? not me! yesterday while i was at work my mommy called me to tell me we are going to wahiawa. My first thought was, "huh? where is that?" and my second thought was "what in the heavens for?" So i was imagining waianae in my head and even today when i was telling my friend over lunch what i did yesterday i mentioned that i went to waimanalo. sigh, i need to get out more often. hehe.

anyway...there are hundreds of cherry blossom trees in bloom in wahiawa right now! pretty pretty flowers! A branch was brought from Japan long long long ago and it was passed around the community. These trees are very special to the Japanese cultural and they can only be grown in very very cold areas. I think i need a house in Wahiawa just so i can have a cherry blossom tree in my yard! even though i would prolly get lost everyday going home. =P

here are a few of the pics i took...the first is one of my favorites. i don't believe i took such a pic...haha...i'm proud of me! =)

..i really didnt..

i really didnt want to do this. i really didnt want to let you know that you bother me but i can't hold it in anymore. If i thought you were adult enough to have a real conversation with me i would totally do this face to face but i know how you are and i know how you miscontrue things. So by having everything in writing in plain sight, there is no funny business and everyone is capable of reading exactly what i want to say.
i cannot stand when i hear that you are still talking about me. It's been a long time since we have been friends and i would hope that although we aren't friends anymore the feelings towards one another could at least be neutral. you dont have to like me very much or even at all but why all the negative feelings? We were friends, you said that was okay, you said that was all that you wanted. You knew i was talking to someone else...so why again are you upset? why again were you telling people the WRONG story about us? again, it is fine that you dont like me, if thats what it takes to make you feel better, blame everything on me, i dont mind. What i do mind is you putting *Jk in the middle. We are totally separate entities, she can be friends with the both of us at the same time and have no problem, i dont talk about you so why do you feel the need to talk about me to her? Also if you want to talk crap, at least make sure your story is correct. I admit that i dont live my life perfectly, i have flaws and talk about them go ahead but dont make up flaws just so you have something to talk about. *Jk and i have conflicting schedules this semester, it has NOTHING to do with the multitude of boys that you think i am messing around with. In all honesty, i am seeing no one right now, not even one boy as opposed to the MANY you think i am. You were around for the whole ordeal of *L, he hurt me...are you happy? does that make you happy to hear that he hurt me? you wanted to be around to say "i told you so." You weren't around but say it now, maybe it will make you feel better. So its not that i am "messing" around with many boys, i won't let anyone close to me anymore, i am afraid of being hurt again. Does that make you happy? that i am afraid? as for the *Jh situation, i was being a friend to him when he needed one. Why is it wrong for a girl to be FRIENDS with a boy and want nothing more? i honestly thought that although we still aren't speaking, things at least died down...from the beginning you were giving others the wrong impression of me...so i guess it shouldn't surprise me that you are still doing the same thing but i just wish you would stop.
so you hate me, you cant stand me, and you think awful thoughts about me.
get over it.

..l'oiseau..

petit par petit l'oiseau construit son nid

..i'd rather..

i would honestly rather spend the rest of my life pretending than to forget you for one second. so let me just continue to live in the dream world that i occupy. it suits me very well.

..i've got..

a new friend!