..i lost..

i lost something that no-one knew i had...i lost someone who meant the world to me...i lost the battle i have been fighting for so long now. i'm not entirely okay with it yet but i will be. life moves on and i continue to exist. they say sometimes you don't realize what you have until its gone...sometimes you do realize what you have and its not until they want somebody else that you realize they never will be yours again. i wish i could be mad, i wish i could be filled with hate, those types of feelings might make this easier to deal with. instead i sit with happy memories, content and somewhat fulfilled. i'm not the type of person to give up on what she wants, some call me spoiled, i call myself determined. as i have learned, determination will not always get you what you desire, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

People always say that things happen for a reason.

i belive them.

i know i was meant to meet him, i know i was meant to have him in my life, i know that he was meant to teach me all that he did.

i hope this new girl treats him well, i hope this new girl wakes up every morning and appreciates him, i hope this new girl is everything he imagined that i couldn't be.